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If you’ve read any of my posts before, you know I believe less is more when it comes to kids and things. In our consumer-driven world, kids are bombarded with the message that happiness comes in a shiny package. But what if we flipped the script? What if we could teach our kids to appreciate experiences over things? It’s possible and one of the greatest gifts you can give them.
Here’s a deep dive into why prioritizing experiences matters, how to get your kids on board, and some practical ways to make this lifestyle shift without a full-scale family mutiny.
Why Experiences Over Things Matter
Let’s briefly touch on why experiences are better than things… in general. Here are three quick reasons…
1. Stuff Loses Its Spark
Think back to last Christmas. How many toys do your kids still play with? If the answer is “not many,” you’re not alone. Psychologists have found that material things bring short-term joy, but the novelty fades fast. Experiences, on the other hand, create lasting memories. That trip to the zoo? Your kid might not remember every animal they saw, but they’ll remember laughing together when the monkey stole your hat.
2. Experiences Build Stronger Connections
When you invest in experiences over things, you’re creating moments that bond your family. Shared adventures—whether a weekend hike or trying out a new recipe together—strengthen relationships in ways toys simply can’t. It’s the difference between sitting side-by-side scrolling on tablets and actually interacting with each other. Quality time versus quantity time.
3. They Teach Life Lessons
Experiences teach resilience, adaptability, and perspective. That camping trip where it rained the whole time? Your kids will learn to laugh at discomfort and make the best of unexpected situations. Those lessons will stick with them far longer than any battery-operated gadget ever could.
How to Get Kids to Embrace Experiences Over Things
Understanding the importance of experiences as an adult is fairly obvious. The challenge is getting your kids on board.
1. Start Small and Build Up
You don’t have to book a plane ticket to Bali to teach your kids this concept. Start with simple activities: a picnic at the park, a family movie night, or a DIY scavenger hunt in your backyard. The goal is to show them how much fun experiences can be without overwhelming them with grand gestures. You may be surprised at how much they just want to spend time with you.
2. Involve Them in Planning
Kids are more likely to appreciate experiences when they’re part of the decision-making process. Let them help choose the activity. Give them options: “Do you want to go to the aquarium or on a hike?” Ownership in the planning process makes them more invested in the outcome.
3. Model the Behavior
Kids follow your lead, even when you think they’re not paying attention (spoiler: they always are). If you constantly talk about the cool gadget you just bought, they’ll focus on things. Instead, talk about how excited you are for an upcoming family outing or share a fun memory from a past trip.
4. Highlight the Memories
After an experience, relive the fun! Create a scrapbook, make a photo album, or just sit around the dinner table reminiscing. Help your kids see how those moments continue to bring joy long after they’re over.
Practical Ways to Prioritize Experiences Over Things
I always prefer specific examples to get me started, so I’ve provided five practical ways for you to start this “experiences over things” journey with your kids.
1. Shift How You Give Gifts
Birthdays and holidays are prime time for an experience-over-things makeover. Instead of a pile of presents, give them a “coupon book” for special outings: a trip to the ice cream shop, a day at the amusement park, or even something as simple as a “stay-up-late movie night” pass.
2. Create a Family Fun Jar
This one’s fun and interactive. Write down different activities on slips of paper—everything from “bake cookies together” to “spend a day at the beach.” Let your kids draw one each weekend. It keeps the anticipation alive and helps them look forward to experiences as much as they might anticipate opening a new toy.
3. Turn Vacations into Adventures
When planning family trips, focus on creating memories rather than ticking off tourist attractions. Look for hands-on experiences: a cooking class in a new city, snorkeling on vacation, or even a road trip where everyone gets to pick a quirky roadside stop.
4. Give the Gift of Time
Let’s be honest: kids don’t need more stuff. What they really want is you. Schedule regular one-on-one time with each child doing something they love. Whether it’s building a birdhouse, reading a favorite book, or throwing a ball in the backyard, it’s the experience of undivided attention they’ll treasure.
5. Embrace the Local Scene
You don’t have to spend big to create memorable experiences. Check out free or low-cost activities in your area: farmers markets, museum days, local festivals, or outdoor concerts. Sometimes, the best memories are made close to home.
What About the Stuff They Already Have?
If your house is already bursting with toys, don’t panic. Use what you’ve got to teach the value of experiences:
- Rotate Toys: Pack some away for a few months and then reintroduce them later. It’ll feel like Christmas all over again.
- Declutter Together: Encourage your kids to donate toys they’ve outgrown. This teaches generosity and helps them see the value in keeping only what they truly enjoy.
- Repurpose Toys for Experiences: Turn their dollhouse into a “mini-hotel” for family vacation planning, or use toy cars to map out a pretend road trip.
Dealing with the Resistance
Let’s face it—kids might not jump on board immediately. The lure of shiny objects is strong, especially when their friends seem to have everything. Here are some ideas to handle pushback:
- Focus on Balance: You’re not banning toys entirely; you’re just making room for something even better.
- Celebrate Their Wins: When your child enjoys an experience, highlight how much fun they had. “Wasn’t that trip to the water park way better than a new video game?”
- Teach Gratitude: Encourage kids to write or draw about the experiences they’ve enjoyed. Gratitude journals can help them see the value in what they’ve done rather than what they own.
The Long-Term Payoff
Teaching kids to prioritize experiences over things isn’t just about creating fun moments today—it’s about shaping their future mindset. By focusing on what truly matters, they’ll grow into adults who value relationships, memories, and personal growth over material possessions.
Imagine them one day looking back on their childhood. Do you want them to remember the countless toys that ended up in the attic? Or the laughter-filled camping trips, spontaneous dance parties, and messy, glorious kitchen disasters that brought everyone closer together?
In the end, the greatest gifts we can give our kids aren’t wrapped in paper. They’re found in the moments we share, the lessons we teach, and the memories we create together. So, step on fewer Legos, spend more time in the moment, and show your kids that life’s greatest treasures can’t be bought—they’re lived.